remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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