Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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