I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
