whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
