after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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