I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
