So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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