I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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