are you so shy because you have an std?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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