About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
