Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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