She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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