Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my being single is dangerous.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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