I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
