She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize