Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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