I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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