it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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