I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
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