Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
