dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize