He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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