You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize