Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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