whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
