you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
