I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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