And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
