I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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