Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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