"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
