Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
