I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
