Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
