The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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