i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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