dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
