2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize