I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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