how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
