i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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