she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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