rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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