You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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