Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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