Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
