Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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