I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
