I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
