Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
