no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize