The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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