my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
