dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
