I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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