That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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