some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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