it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
