I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
